Am I the only one annoyed with this? September 23, 2007

The more I read through the text book, the more I am really annoyed with the way feminism is interpreted these days.  Many of the (ahem, WOMEN) writers in this book seem, to me, to be a large reason women are so unhappy being women.  Each time I finish one of the assigned readings, I become more and more angry with the way “feminist” women act and think (or at least the ones in the text).  It seems to me that these women (and by “these women,” I mean the writers and contributors in the text) believe that feminism is about denouncing everything that women do to feel more womanly.  Be it dieting, fashion, make-up, career, faith, love, motherhood or even (oh no, don’t say it) labiaplasty, I feel like these women are trying to convince me that having anything to do with how our society sees women is wrong, and makes me less of a woman.  How can that be?  Isn’t dieting, fashion, makeup, career, faith, love, motherhood or even labiaplasty a choice (in most cases) that modernized and socialized women make?  Or am I to believe these women that every choice that I make for myself is not really what I want or desire, but that I am really just a product of what our male-dominated society wants or desires?  Why is it that if I decide to get a boob job, or be a stripper, or shave my legs, or have more skirts than pants in my wardrobe, I am oppressed and ruled by what the men in my life want?  When did the fun stuff about being a woman turn into tabboo?  How about I wear makeup because I like it.  Because wearing mascara is what I think is pretty for me.  And if I don’t wear mascara one day, it is because I chose to simply not.  It’ s not because I am trying to prove something to all the men out there who also happen to think mascara is pretty.  Why, if I dress up one day, it’s deep down only because that’s what I think I am “supposed” to wear?  When did my choices about the woman I want to be stop being my choice?  Why is it that if I choose to do something that is a very cliche woman thing, I am looked at by feminist women as a traitor of some sort?  Isn’t feminism supposed to be about embracing who we are as women?  Isn’t it supposed to be about learning about all of the choices we have and then choosing for ourselves what we want to do with the options?  Why, if I decide I really do want to be a teacher, is it only because that’s what my male-dominated society wants me to do?  Or, because I think there’s nothing else I can do, because I am an oppressed woman?  When did all things feminine in whatever sense you want to make  it become the target of distruction by so-called feminists?

 I say, those women are the ones who are really oppressed.  Those women are so worried that by acting like a traditional woman she is somehow losing her womanhood.  When these women dwell on all of the female things that they think imprison them, they become more and more trapped, and less and less free.  These women are so ultra-sensitive to what this action or that action might say about her right to choose for herself, that they have a disdainful view of the fun of being a woman. 

 So I end by saying this:  Quit worrying that doing girly things will make you less of a person.  Quit belittling the fun part of womanhood.  Quit belly-aching about how unfair it is to be a woman.  Quit trying to convince me that if I stay at home to take care of my children instead of competing in the corporate world, that I am somehow a victim of the male society.  Quit trying to make me the woman YOU want me to be, and just let me be me.  The woman I am is MY CHOICE!  Not the choice of those who run the media.  Not the choice of my father or my boyfriend.  Not the choice of my guy friends or my sons.  By finding something wrong with EVERYTHING feminine, these women are not asserting my feminine power, they are taking away my power to choose the kind of woman I WANT TO BE!